Forgetful, clumsy, careless and prone to mistakes

I made the same mistake for the 4th time in my experiment today.. I forgot to fix my blood film with methanol and straight away stained them with giemsa.. So my trip to Rumah Haiwan today was a waste of time.. I felt stupid... I had some problems earlier... Guess I can't handle distractions even a little.. I'm impatient and always not thinking stuff through thoroughly.. I'm always like this.. That's why my thesis is going nowhere.. I hate myself for that.. Why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over? Is it because I'm losing focus? Or maybe it's some kind of a disease? Or am I naturally stupid? This happens a lot in my life.. I tend to forget a lot of stuff.. Important stuff even.. like my car keys.. I manually locked my car with the keys still inside..(T.T).. I was like #@$%$#&!!!! WTH!!.. DAMMIT,DAMMIT AND DAMMIT!!!.. I'm also clumsy.. I can't remember how many beakers(1000ml) I broke so far... and 1 measuring cylinder(500ml) which is very important and rare to find in the lab.. The lab is running out of beakers because of me... I felt awful... Sorry everyone..

I've also had experience in letting people down.. When they entrusted me with a favor or other stuff and always forget them and eventually failed to do them.. sorry.. Why am I like this? Even if I DID remember, I tend to lose focus in what I'm doing at the moment.. Guess I need to increase my 'RAM'.. Or get a better 'processor' ... (WTH.. I'm not a computer).. but it'd be great if I'm accurate like a computer.. at least it'll minimize the mistakes and errors.. Maybe it's lack of exercise.. I dunno.. probably.. or maybe I did something REALLY REALLY bad that I'm getting bad luck all the time... hehehe..

I also realised when I'm counting stuff, I tend to lose count all the time.. I'm losing focus.. DAMMIT, DAMMIT AND DAMMIT!! It's true that people make mistakes... Once we make mistakes, we must learn from them not repeat them.. So, in my case, it's not working very well.. Anyway, whenever bad times like this happens, I'll go home and meet my family, and that makes me somewhat 'recharged' and can go on living.. heh.. Maybe I need to make notes or something to plan stuff, but then I'd be too lazy to write... Well, I don't really know what to do accept pray and doa.. I'd happily accept advice from anyone.. I'll try my best to change for the greater good..